Hope Kills

We all love when things click with someone off the bat.
But in reality there’s a process we have to observe.
Otherwise, someone gets crushed by hope.
Or, you know, gets murdered.

So many relationships burn hot and fast and then burn out. It’s usually a case of too much too fast. I am super guilty of this. It’s so easy to give all of yourself to someone you think is worthy. Being blinded by love is a real thing. Or at least what we think is love. Only to discover this great love is not as great as we thought it was. (As my best friend pointed out, this is how you end up on the ID channel.)

In reality, like it or not, there’s a process. Its a balance act managing and balancing time while you get to know someone new. Get to know them and build something without just throwing a house onto sand and realizing your relationship is falling apart as the floor splits underneath you.

Sure there are always exceptions to the rule.
You’re *probably* not that exception.

If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. Its so easy to miss glaring warning signs sometimes. I know I have to constantly remind myself to take a step back and evaluate where things stand. Otherwise things will suddenly be falling apart or the bubble will burst and you’ll be left holding the feels.

Might know a thing or two about that.



I prefer this word to the word hanging.

Hanging kind of makes me think of death. Which isn’t what I want to think about when I’m already down. It just seems to be one of those weeks when I find myself impossibly bummed. No amount of sleep, coffee, or encouragement really seems to fix it.

Ghosting is maybe one of the worst things about dating in this day and age. It happens pretty frequently. Sometimes intentionally. Sometimes unintentionally.

I get it.

Sometimes its a bad date. Sometimes life just gets busy. Sometimes things just get boring. But the worst is when you think things are going okay and then they’re just gone. Usually it ends with an innocent question and then things just float off.

That seems to be what keeps happening to me.

It hurts way worse than I want to admit. I think it’s really because I don’t understand why. Did I do something? Is it me? I know 99% of the time the line “It’s not you. It’s me.” is applicable. Lord knows I’ve had to say that.

But could you not leave my question floating?

Dad Dreams

Even Dad is getting in on my dating life now.

So when I’m not coaching rowing, I work for an entertainment company. My dad apparently had a dream that I brought an artist from work home to meet the parents. Mom told me this while I was home last weekend. Naturally, she didn’t give me details on who it was to make this easier.

Super helpful.

There are some excellent options, but totally unprofessional. Of course I told one of my co-workers. She proceeded to brainstorm all the options. It kept us entertained while we ate lunch.

Auntie Dani

I feel like it’s finally safe to announce this.


My best friend is due Christmas Day! It’s a boy. I’m pretty stoked.

This also means when people ask me if I’m married or have kids I can distract them by talking about my nephew!


Dani vs. Bookcase

Another reason I haven’t been dating is because I’m redecorating!

Priority #1 was repainting the living area of my house. Which meant moving all the furniture. While I am annoyingly independent, there were some fairly heavy pieces of furniture that I needed a hand to move. I moved them on my own. Consequently, I ended up taking a bookcase to the face ripping up my lip like soccer ball to the face levels of damage.

Why did I take a bookcase to the face you ask?

My most recent ex I broke up with about a year and a half ago and I were trying to be friends. We had been talking regularly. He’d definitely made a few passes that were coolly passed from me. He offered to help move the furniture. We made a plan. This was probably the third time we’d made tentative plans and he’d flaked for whatever reason. Every time it was a “really good reason.” But I dunno. I was over it. About an hour before he was supposed to show up I messaged him. Nothing.

He messaged me a week later and briefly apologized and made an excuse. My face was still swollen and sore from where a book case fell on my face moving the furniture alone. I wasn’t feeling super forgiving. So I ignored him. Apparently his phone bit the bucket.

Personally, I have no sympathy. I had plans to see Wonder Woman on opening night. A friend had gotten us tickets. I was rowing and my phone fell in the river. Talk about phones biting the bucket. The first thing I had to do was let my friend know I wasn’t going to show up. So I took myself to a computer and sent him a Facebook message.

So, I really have no sympathy. Also, he’d been on Facebook fairly regularly during he week. While its normal for him to flake, it wasn’t normal for him to ghost and I was concerned something happened to his grandma or something. While we may not be together his grandma was wonderful. And if you actually cared and had made plans, you would have let me know in the ~6 days I was worried your sweet granny died.

Take the time to let the people who matter to you know.

Otherwise, they will think they don’t matter and behave accordingly.

Currently in the Running

More temporary guys.

Who’s surprised?!

Oh right. No one.

The SRO: He seems really nice? I’m just not totally sure how I feel about it. We can talk about working with kids and he has a pretty laid back schedule. It’s like dating a cop without worrying about them dying maybe? We’re getting dinner Tuesday.

The Aggie: I’m really not sure this is going anywhere. We went out last night. He seems a lot like my friends from college. We talked a lot and got along really well. He still seems to have a party streak. As you guys have probably figured out, my idea of a party is sitting on the patio listening to music and drinking wine. Idk. We’ll see.

The Doc: He’s in the army. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. He’s in med school in West Virginia. We matched while I was driving to my parents last weekend. He seems really nice… but distance. He wants to hang out this weekend. I want to go spend my day in the pottery studio. (That’s actually why I haven’t been blogging. I live on the river or in the pottery studio.)

Country Snaps: This guy keeps snapping me videos of country music and him singing on the radio. I hate country music. This is clearly going well already.

Please. Someone remind me.
Why do I date again?

The Run Down

So as per usual, I haven’t updated.
My B.

So here’s the scoop.

Rowing season started! Which means my life has mostly gone to shit. Or, well the river. But I guess there’s a couple of stories to tell. I’ve just had this long string of temporary guys.

New Mexico Guy: He was on a long vacation visiting his twin brother and sister in law. We all went out together and had a lot of fun. He’s back in NM. We snap. He really wants to move to the East Coast because family and we’re pretty great. But I’m not holding my breath.

The Marine: Boy was he a talker… at first. I thought there was hope. But he’s only here for training, doesn’t have a car, and smokes. Also he’s probably going to the west coast after training is over. However, he would talk my ear off. And then we just sorta stopped talking. It’s fine. I got bored with him too.

Expectations vs Reality Guy: On paper, he was great. Like really great. So many things in common. We went to this great French restaurant. Buuuuuuuuut, that’s where it stopped being great. So we both had facial reconstructive surgery in our early 20’s. So we had that in common. But when he found out at dinner he kept grabbing my hand. And it just made it way more awkward. Plus I have serious ADD and I like to look around and take things in. He took that as me being uncomfortable or uninterested and as rather blunt about it. Also, he kept ordering for me. He also got a rose to split. He also kept talking down to me about wine.

I know I’m being critical. I was hangry.

Also, he kept snapping his fingers at our waiter because he drank more water than someone who’d been stranded in the desert. At one point he got so impatient he knocked over all the glasses on the table I got soaked and he didn’t even notice. At the end of the date standing in public he asked to kiss me. I declined. A. I was wearing dark lipstick. B. It was crazy public. C. I wasn’t feeling it. He then kept trying to hang out with me the next two nights. D. I was sort of dreaming about my sweats on the couch.

So those are the guys who are definitely out.
Stay tuned. The guys who are in the works are coming soon.


Moments with Mom

I call my mom every morning during my commute.
I’m that kid.
We have great conversations.
Mom: What did you have for breakfast?
Me: Coffee
Mom: Lunch?
Me: The rest of my coffee from breakfast. Oh. And cake.
Mom: Dinner?
Me: Idk I probably have a date I forgot about.
Mom: How are you alive?
Me: Idk. You raised me.

Fingers Crossed : How it Ended

So I feel like this was why I feel like I stopped blogging.

I was sick of blogging about boring dates. That’s what he turned out to be. Boring. Never made a move. Never made me excited. It was pretty obvious after date two. I don’t even remember what date 3 was. I also don’t remember if there was a date 4?

He was awkward. And that’s coming from me.

Either way at the end of a movie he nervously said he needed to focus on work. Idk if that was true or not but I didn’t really care. I was nice about it. But he was so nervous he couldn’t really just spit it our or be blunt.

Good riddance.