The Dentist

Pro tip: Don’t talk about how much your student load debt is on a first date.

I went on this HORRIFICALLY bad date not long ago. Okay a month ago? He was in dentistry school. We’d matched on Tinder and/or Bumble a few times in the last year. We totally clicked over text. I was so excited.

It was awful.

We met up in person and he was short. His profile pictures made him look at least 6′. Nope.

And then. He opened his mouth.

I swear the voice that came out was a southern sorority girl. Or the most flamboyantly gay southern man I’ve ever met. Neither of these are bad. But neither of these are people I want to date. I immediately cringed.

The date was all down hill from there.

He was book smart.

And not a whole lot else. He ordered white wine to go with pizza. Talked about money a lot. He periodically would “Oh my gawd” or “Oh girl”. I got something with whiskey. God knows I needed it to get through the date. After he suggested we walk around and talked.

Cringing ensues.

I’m pretty sure my IQ dropped 10 points on the date.

He just didn’t seem to have much common sense. And combined with the flamboyant gay voice, plus his fucking perfect teeth. I mostly don’t remember what we talked about now. I’m pretty sure my brain deleted it to make space for actual things. I just remember waking back to the car and wanting to cry. I wasted a cute outfit on that date.

Needless to say, neither of us texted each other after the date.

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