Fingers Crossed : How it Ended

So I feel like this was why I feel like I stopped blogging.

I was sick of blogging about boring dates. That’s what he turned out to be. Boring. Never made a move. Never made me excited. It was pretty obvious after date two. I don’t even remember what date 3 was. I also don’t remember if there was a date 4?

He was awkward. And that’s coming from me.

Either way at the end of a movie he nervously said he needed to focus on work. Idk if that was true or not but I didn’t really care. I was nice about it. But he was so nervous he couldn’t really just spit it our or be blunt.

Good riddance.


There Was Hope

But he turned out to be a stage 5 clinger.

It was bad. We clicked over text. We clicked on our first date. And our second. Things seemed to be falling into place so fast. It was one of those “this had to be too good to be true” moments on repeat.

Spoiler Alert

It was.

We both had a lot in common. And we talked about our struggles with anxiety. Things were going so well. He was so nice and sweet and thoughtful. I was so hopeful. So hopeful.

He turned out to be a Stage 5 Clinger.

I should have guessed when he deleted the dating app after our first date. Things moved really fast. It was bad. But it wasn’t the first time that had happened to be before. I went with it. Because hope!

I kind of had an a-ha moment.

My garbage disposal crapped out one night. It was bad. Water was everywhere. It was even leaking out of the port where the electrical wires come out of. Naturally, I’d just bought furniture and picked out paint colors for the living room. He was there. He wanted to fix it. He’s not a handy man. He’s not an electrician. He kept watching YouTube and trying to research on the disposal.

Meanwhile I was doing the math of how much money I’d just spent on furniture. How much a disposal would cost. How much getting someone to install it for me would cost. And promptly freaking out about my financial situation. New disposal? $100 – $200. Installation? Up to $500 depending on how fast or slow my plumber is. So on top of the furniture I could kiss having a professional painter paint the house goodbye.

I excused myself to my room after he borderline threw a hissy fit about me telling him no to fixing my disposal. The last thing I needed was worrying about him electrocuting himself.

I went to my room and the bubble popped.

I should have known it when he cried the first time he spent the night.

I should have known it when he deleted his dating apps after our first date.

I should have known it when he friend requested my best friend our first week dating.

I should have known it when he loved her profile picture.

I should have known it when he was excited about looking at baby clothes for my best friend.

After that I could only think of one thing: How do I get rid of him?

I came out unscathed. I’m okay. It’ll be okay. I’m excited about going back to being single. Okay technically I never stopped. We never made it official. But I’m excited about going back to Me, Myself, & I.

The Dentist

Pro tip: Don’t talk about how much your student load debt is on a first date.

I went on this HORRIFICALLY bad date not long ago. Okay a month ago? He was in dentistry school. We’d matched on Tinder and/or Bumble a few times in the last year. We totally clicked over text. I was so excited.

It was awful.

We met up in person and he was short. His profile pictures made him look at least 6′. Nope.

And then. He opened his mouth.

I swear the voice that came out was a southern sorority girl. Or the most flamboyantly gay southern man I’ve ever met. Neither of these are bad. But neither of these are people I want to date. I immediately cringed.

The date was all down hill from there.

He was book smart.

And not a whole lot else. He ordered white wine to go with pizza. Talked about money a lot. He periodically would “Oh my gawd” or “Oh girl”. I got something with whiskey. God knows I needed it to get through the date. After he suggested we walk around and talked.

Cringing ensues.

I’m pretty sure my IQ dropped 10 points on the date.

He just didn’t seem to have much common sense. And combined with the flamboyant gay voice, plus his fucking perfect teeth. I mostly don’t remember what we talked about now. I’m pretty sure my brain deleted it to make space for actual things. I just remember waking back to the car and wanting to cry. I wasted a cute outfit on that date.

Needless to say, neither of us texted each other after the date.