Around Thanksgiving a friend introduced me to someone kind of accidentally. We hit it off and things I guess got a little heavy a little fast. Admittedly, I wasn’t innocent in all of this. I had a close friend from college pass suddenly right around the time Thanksgiving Guy and I met. I was a little messed up. But things seemed to be headed towards a relationship and that’s what he wanted. He would call me after work and used pet names etc.
He abruptly bailed on weekend plans we’d talked about and then dropped the “I just want to be friends” bomb over text. I can’t say I was shocked. But definitely hurt. It was pretty obvious something was up prior to the text but I couldn’t figure out what. When I asked what had changed he fed me a line I didn’t buy. I was a little preoccupied with work and figuring out how to grieve, really for the first time in my life. I wrote it off as me just over thinking and being confused.
Fast forward: Well guess who showed up on POF tonight. (If you read the top half of this post you only get one guess.) Being the fucking idiot I am I clicked on his profile. (Dani why are you such a dumb ass?!) To be fair I was swiping on the Tinder style part of the site and just going through fast on auto pilot. (edit: people on this site can see who has looked at their profile.) I am such a fucking idiot. For a second I wasn’t sure if I screamed so loud in my head I screamed out loud or not. Based on the lack of people checking on me I guess it was just in my mind. Well… when in Rome… might as well take a quick tour. (You already did the dumb thing. Enjoy your stupidity.) I didn’t really look at much. Just scrolled through the pictures (they were old) and felt nauseous.
I keep trying to comfort myself by saying: “Well its like saying ‘That’s right. I see you. -_-‘”
Yep. I’m an idiot. But at least I know now.